Anyone who had experiences living with anxiety issues would be able to testify that anxiety and fear driven coping behaviours could make lives more difficult than it already is. In psychology, we call these the “unintended consequences” of fight-or-flight coping when our decision making process is dominated by the threat system.
Excessive checking in response to worries that we have missed something or made mistakes could lead to negligence of other essential responsibilities. We might end up spending all the time on “perfecting” one task while items in our to-do-list pile up.
Sometimes, we can respond to anxiety by striving for greater and greater achievement. We may be hoping to accumulate the most resource while we could but end up pushing ourselves to an extreme that we become overwhelmed by stress and fall into a burnt out state.
Self-limiting acts can also lead to loss of opportunities for growth and advancement when we succumb to self-doubts or fears of failure and refuse to take up new challenges. Staying in the comfort zone is the quick and easy solution to soothe anxiety but in the long run, it can trigger a new wave of sad or anxious reaction when we realize what we could have achieved, if only we had been bolder.
Sometimes, worries about uncertain and unpredictable future could fuel superstitious acts. We might feel “comforted” immediately by conforming to certain rules to “prevent bad luck and enhance chances of success.” Some acts like saying “touchwood” might be harmless. However, blind compliance to superstitious beliefs could also limit our life choices and free will or even put us vulnerable to manipulation.
It is not uncommon that rumination about how things could go wrong can put people in a chronically tense mental state and in turn lead to irritable mood. This could ultimately harm our interpersonal relationships when we become overly engaged in our internal thoughts and withdraw from social interactions or worse, react with temper tantrums when we fail to settle our worrying mind.
Another possible reaction to the tense feelings and stressed chronically worrying state is attempt to self-numb by means like drinking, shopping, video gaming, and gambling etc. While serving the purpose to offer temporary distraction and relief, these acts cannot “cure” our anxiety. Instead, overreliance on these coping strategies would lead to addiction problems which can create crisis and become a new source of anxiety for us.
Take some time and reflect on how you have been responding to your anxiety and worries.
- Close your eyes and imagine how you could live and act if you are no longer constrained by anxiety.
- Ask yourself if there are things that you have sacrificed or ignored because of your fears.
- Try to look at the situation objectively and classify your constraints into realistic limitations and anxiety driven restrictions.
- Think about what you could do with the realistic limitations. Would consulting your trusted family or friends help? Would changing jobs or taking courses change your situation? Do not keep your troubles to yourself. Talk to someone and seek help. You may be surprised how a second opinion could sometimes offer us insight and novel perspective in approaching our worries.
- For anxiety driven restrictions that are more psychological than practical, it is often helpful to tune in and learn more about your fears and worries. (You can refer to my post regarding our greatest fears underlying anxiety.)
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